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This month of "e-buddha for e-angel", Angel
was confronted with a series of 11th century Tibetan buddhist teachings
which made her finely layered, slightly wavy but no-artificial-chemical-added
hair, ripped-curled in disgust.
Angel wrote an email to her e-guru. Lawrence Goldchaser is the
translator to Angel's e-Buddha. He was a former taxation lawyer
and a veritable US of A Trustafarian, who saw the light and discovered
the wealth he could accumulate by copyrighting all of eBuddha's
teachings to his own name!
Dear E-buddha,
I know that perhaps I was not exactly practising
"love" or "Compassion" when I punched out Lawrence Goldchaser but
honestly he really is the colour of Green copyright nose snot! Your
wonderful teachings just deserves to be available to every human
being and no human being should have to suffer the experience of
asking Evil Satan Goldchaser, before they are allowed to photocopy
1 page of your genuine words of wisdom!
If I was Catholic, Goldchaser would be the
absolute unequivocal proof that Satan was here on earth and doing
good work ! Oh, e-buddha, Lawrence used to go to the Republican
convention every year to swap "Knock-knock jokes" with like-minded
individuals! He copyrights your teachings on wisdom, vastness of
space and the importance of generosity with his logo: (c) Lawrence
"mine,mine,mine" Goldchaser!
Sorry, I know we are suppose to care about "republicans
and taxation lawyers too" but hey, this guy is not exactly my idea
of a cute Teddy bear that an ex-boyfriend might, on occassion, buy
me to say "Sorry". Well, shortly after I have thrown them out of
his home, confiscated his entire DVD collections, added interest
and inflation on his half of the phone bill he owed me, and speed-dialed
my lawyer to get an intervention& restraining order to forbid his
collections of 80's red-braces and mal-tailored suits from coming
anywhere near 10km radius of my home or anywhere i might be !
I am in Kathmandu, being my usual self and
going to Buddhism class everyday. I hope you are well teaching all
around the world, e-Buddha.
The puppy I was playing with at the village,
died 2 days ago! This world is unfair!I got up to go to class and
discovered a whole 25 verses of Buddist texts about women being
"sluts & dirty"! I had a fit and have changed every single word
in those text, in protest ! OOps!
The Head Monk said that it is suppose to free
one from the attachment to the body but also not fall into the extremes
of forgetting the purity of the divine body blah, blah, blah....there
was something about the fact that at the time the ancient text was
written with monks in mind and to curb them from their own desires!
BLah.
I said," But there are no monks here in this
classroom and there are 50/50 men & women! Look, that pregnant mother-to-be
does not wish to be called a "slut" by default & implications!"
Then he said,"Yes, that is true. I do not think this is about putting
women down but it is what the text says. Well the important thing
is to remember that we are looking at our own body as impure to
alleviate attachment and desire and then we look at the bodies of
others to be the same as us, human and suffering. Also we should
not forget the purity of the divine body."
.....so I've just inserted the names of Lawrence
Goldchaser in place of the bit where they go "women are filthy etc..."
I just go "Goldchaser (the spawn of satan)
& some of my ex-boyfriends are filthy etc..."
If monks can project onto women in order to
meditate on their own bodily impurity and suffering from desire,
I think its okay for me to project onto evil Goldchaser! :-) I am
just following their logic! Wouldn't it be nice if monks just didn't
project onto women's body in order to curb their own desires? Then
there would be no "filthy women verses" at all! Though, perhaps
"Lawrence" , might still be....evil?
Well. Please pray for puppy! I am deeply annoyed
by the injustice of one innocent puppy dying for no reason while
Goldchaser is still copyrighting "Buddhism" at various elite, Republican
get-togethers.
YEs, I know, love and compassion, even for
Republican tax lawyers.:-) I will try to meditate on that, I promise,
theoretically, even Lawrence have the nature of Peace, which is
Buddha nature! But you know, that is very hard to see when he frequently
says things like,"I don't give money to that (poor, beggar woman
in Nepal) because I do not like her demeanor!" WEll, that would
teach her to be "poor", "a woman", a "beggar" & Nepali! How dare
she offend MR Goldchaser! tut..tut!
Yes, I know...love and compassion....love and
compassion...
The Stupa is beautiful though and they've been
lighting candles on it everynight this week!
Hope you are well, and teaching. That's all
the news in Nepal, apart from the fact that this year, Pashmina
patterns come in beautiful silk Red & Gold Paisley designs and oh,
the Nepali Parliament has been disbanded and no one can agree about
what to do next! And the chinese channels are the number one most
popular channel on Cable TV and Nepal seems to be quite happy with
the Chinese... lucky I am chinese and love red & gold paisley pashmina
scarf then!
Thank you for being my teacher through good
and bad, love & hatred, pain and happiness etc.. e-Angel.
General Background:
Angel is a chinese "Bridgette Jones"
style character on a Buddhist PHilosophy trip, following a Tibetan
guru for. "E-Buddha" is a collection of her emails, compiled from
all the myriads of adventures and misadventures Angel encounters,
jumping from London to Kathmandu to India to San francisco etc.
Most of all its about Angel's experience of friendship with people
in a world where 11th century Tibetan style male institution hierachy
still prevails meets western excesses. " Along the way, she deals
with everything from bad fashion, silk brocades, riots in Kathmadnu,
amoebic dysentry all the way to Tantric sexual harassment; with
incisive humour and an uncompromising modern pragmatism.
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